Learning About Life

At the beginning of the academic year, when Irini first enrolled in Prep Reception (as it is called here), we were asked to provide input about our child. Her interests. Her strengths, etc., etc. Among the several things they requested was what our goals would be for her for the academic year. At the time Laurence had written that he wanted her to enjoy being in school, to learn to socialize in a positive way and to learn to read and write. The latter, as it turns out, stressed Ms. Wu a bit and she took the time to talk about that when we had our first parent-teacher conference all those month ago. She had asked us to be patient. She showed us examples of what reading and writing look like for the average 3 to 4 year old. She tried, as best as she could, to make us realize that perhaps it was premature to ask Irini to read and write. She described what would probably be the outcome as "pre-reading" and "pre-writing". Laurence and Natalia were both happy to acknowledge that all that pre stuff would suffice quite nicely and that, really, as long as education was a positive experience for Irini the rest would take care of itself.

Now, months later, Irini is growing physically, emotionally, socially and cognitively by leaps and bounds. Her vocabulary, as we have discussed before, has grown as has her syntax, grammar and confident in speaking. She has impressed us with everything she has learned. Her counting has improved ("pre-math") and her artwork has developed impressively (we don't think that the art is considered "pre"). She in on the cusp of writing her name on a regular basis ("actual writing") and is able to read numbers without problem ("actual reading"). In short, she has been very successful in her first year to date. She has shown mastery in many things and seems to be at ease in class. She looks forward to going and, in general, is very content with everyone around her - peers and adults.

An online newsletter of her class events arrives to our inbox every week and, with it, often slideshows and short videos of the work done in class. On occasion she will be seen surrounded by her classmates, sometimes wearing traditional Indian, Malay and/or Chinese outfits. This week it was International Fest. Irini posed in front of a Colombian, US and Greek flag to show her multiculturalism. She seems to be well adjusted, positive and eager to learn. We can't wait to see what else is in store for her, and through her, for us as well.

Learning every day.

Learning About Death

A few months ago, to make life a little more bearable in a new country, Tia took Avi and TTmouz to the SPCA just down the street from school to show them the cats and dogs. They looked around and finally decided on two beautiful little kittens, and promptly took them home. Life with Paco and Lala had begun. They were young and cute as could be and watching them grow was a fast-forward version of our own growth in the Myers-Giraldo family home. The cats grew and were a big success as people fought for time with them. Amalia and Irini were just as smitten as everyone else and asking for visits to Tia's house are more for the cats than they are for the cousins, we think. :-)

Across the lake from our place is a hotel: Hotel Flamingo. One of it's marketing catches is the location and outdoor feel. They have a reception hall, but, when weather permits they also offer opportunities for special events outside their building, overlooking the lake at night. It is quite a romantic and special place. But for the residents of the apartment buildings across the lake - namely us - it is sometimes difficult to recognize the benefit of such events. The volume on the karaoke is sometimes high enough that the entire building is kept up listening to bad voices on an otherwise quiet evening.

Yesterday was a special event. From looking down onto the hotel patio there must have been over 300 seats of nicely covered white chairs and round tables. The evening was wonderful and the people below must have been happy as can be to partake in such a festive occasion (was it a birthday, a wedding, or what?). It was such a special occasion that, at right around 9:00 pm, fireworks lit the sky and came floating downwards toward the water's surface. To those in attendance the sight must have been wonderful and the evening spectacular. The participants in the hotel event, we are sure, left happily and completely content. Perhaps the married couple moved on to the rest of their lives thinking of dreams come true.

But from our perspective, with sleeping children, the fireworks were a complete surprise. The lighting of the sky and the booming sounds of the explosives brought concern to Laurence as he held Irini hoping that she would sleep through it. Thankfully for him, both Amalia and Irini slept through the event without waking, and later he too would lumber his way to bed.

As he slept the phone rang. And rang. And rang. He vaguely heard the door to the other bedroom move open and Natalia try to reach the phone. Too late. A few seconds later Laurence's cell phone rang. This time Natalia answered. There was conversation. Concern. Then Natalia rushed into the room and got dressed. Laurence was given the quick version of the story. Paco had fallen out of the kitchen window and was in the parking lot injured. She rushed out the door.

Sleep.

A few hours later Natalia returned. She slid into bed quietly. Laurence asked how Paco was. "He died" was her solemn reply. Paco fell from the kitchen window onto the little balcony behind the apartment. He sometimes climbs up there and with his weight he can fall through the window. From the small balcony he fell further downstairs, finally landing on the road entry into the parking lot. It was around 9:00 pm when it happend. Fireworks right outside the apartment window would have been quite a terrorizing experience for a young cat. Though we cannot know if this was the reason - or part of the reason - for his falling, the timing seems strangely coincidental. Tia, Avi and TTmouz looked all over the house for him and, after the search was extended to include the apartment complex, Tia found him on the ground downstairs. He had fallen four floors, possibly having hit railings and satellite discs along the way. He stood no chance to humanity's onslaught of cement and metal. One of the guards said that he thought he may have also been hit by a car as well. Tia called Natalia. Natalia rushed to her aid and together they carried poor Paco to the vet. He died shortly before they arrived. Back at the hotel, happily, the music continued into the night and the visiting onlookers returned to their seats after watching a most wonderful show.

Today was the emotional goodbye to a cat who brought much light into the family. He brought antics and laughter. He brought purring and love. He brought brotherhood and cuddling. Now his sister looks around the house for him. TTmouz and Avi have to learn first-hand what death looks like. Tia too is learning to deal with being a mother of grieving children. Irini was told as well, but seemed more concerned about his pain and broken bones than of his death per se. Perhaps she's too young to recognize the finality of it, but pain is certainly something she understands about. She asks how many bones he broke. She asks how painful it was, but she speaks of his dying just as if it was the dying of an insect in her class. Dying, like living, has different meaning to different people.

When Natalia arrived back home last night and spoke to Laurence, she said "I don't know how you did this so many times". Laurence grew up with cats and has said goodbye to many in his life. His response, "it hurts until you see the next one". Every life has beauty. Every beauty has value. Everyone has a place in the world. Thank you, Paco, for your time, your energy of youth and your friendship. Though yours ended early, it was not a life short on love or caring. And that, our friend, we will carry with us.

The fireworks have ended. It is peaceful again. You can rest now.

Beautiful Words

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, and yet, there are times when just a few choice words, said in the right way at the right moment, can take one's breath away in such profound manner that it would be hard to imagine any picture managing even a glimpse of such depth. This post is dedicated to exactly that: words. No pictures. No video. Just words that make a parent's heart skip beats and sing sweet melodies all at the same time.

Episode 1

Amalia wakes up from her afternoon nap. She calls out for mommy. No answer. Then daddy. Daddy, with a short delay, arrives at the doorway before Amalia realized that he is there. Then, thinking she is out of parental options, and for the first time in her life, Amalia calls her sister to her bed. "Nini!" she calls. But Irini is sleeping in another room. Daddy takes the opportunity to take in the moment while waiting around the corner of the doorway, then enters to pick her up out of bed. He lifts her up, and over, and places her back down on the floor outside the railings. She marches out toward the living room. "Nini!" she announces again. Walking up to the sofa where Irini has decided to nap, Amalia walks up and strokes Irini's arm, hoping that perhaps her sister might wake up. As softly as her touch, she says "Nini?". Daddy's heart melts as he sees his younger daughter growing in language and in sociability. He says, "Thelis na pexeis?" (Do you want to play?"). Amalia smiles a big smile and says "yes".

Episode 2

There was a time that Irini was going through nearly daily tantrums. Then, for a short while, Amalia followed suit. Irini took a while to reach her terrible twos, and it seemed Amalia was ahead of schedule. For about a week or two there was a terrible overlap of post-twos and pre-twos that threatened the sanity of the household. Then, for no apparent reason, Irini pulled out of it. She has been in such a good mood for about 10 days straight now, save for a tantrum or two here and there. During one day when she was behaving beautifully, but Amalia was having a nightmarish waking hours scenario Laurence turned to Irini and said, "Thank you for being such a wonderful girl today. You have been a fantastic sister, and a fantastic daughter". Irini looked up into his eyes, smiled broadly and asked, "Does it make your heart feel good?" Laurence smiled, in complete surprise, and said "Where did you learn that from?". Irini smiled back: "Ms. Wu" (her teacher).

Episode 3

We were driving back from a wonderful Friday evening dinner downtown. The girls had behaved wonderfully and the spirit was positive despite the lateness of the day. While in the car, conversation turned to new words and we tried to teach Amalia a word or two. She was saying back everything we were telling her and Natalia brought up "Can you say night night?". Irini burst out "night night!". Amalia looked on. Then Natalia said "night night, sleep tight", stopping Irini in her tracks. As the night slowly crept toward us, Irini said to her mother, "Mommy, those are such beautiful words". Parental heart strings sang a sweet melody deep into the night. The moon looked down and smiled its crescent smile in a cloudless sky.

Episode 4

Laurence, Amalia and Irini are sitting at the small table playing with Play Doh. Eventually, one after the other, the girls lose interest and start moving onwards, leaving daddy at the table to finish up some final touches on the Play Doh items they put together. Realizing that he is left alone, but determined to make sure the girls will help out putting things back, he tries to get them to return. By then Irini is sitting at the coffee table drawing and Amalia has picked up the mop and is happily helping around the house in a different manner. Daddy continues to call to her to come over to help out. Irini moves her eyes upward, focusing her gaze on her father, and announces, "Don't worry daddy. Calm your body". Laurence, touched by her concern and equally surprised, asks where she heard that, expecting her to say that it was Ms. Wu again. "I made it up". Playing with Play Doh. Playing with words. Creativity working wonders.

Episode 5

Amalia is in bed. Daddy is lying on the floor beside her. On the other side of the room Natalia is putting Irini to bed as well. Amalia was babbling, but her babbling is starting to take on form. Her 'words' have different rings to them, and there is a good deal of multi-syllabic 'feel' to them. There are intonations to form questions and the repetition of specific sounds make it obvious that there is a story in there somewhere being told, perhaps clear to Amalia, yet elusive to the rest of us. Every once in a while there is mention of someone: "mama" or "baba" or "nini". Daddy lies there, smiling in the darkness.

Beautiful words before they're even formally created. Crafty linguistic concoctions from four-year-olds. The liberty of language, like the liberty of movement, take us on a wonderful life-long journey into creation, creativity and independent thinking.

Splish Splash

There are times when you just really enjoy the moment. This time it was prompted by a visit from our new friends Drew and Kim and their children Allie (who is in Irini's class) and Sean. The visit, as has become customary these days, included a short time in the apartment, followed by a run down the pool where, as one would, we promptly jumped in. After the original shock of what we consider cold water (the Scandinavians in the family would laugh at this, we realize) and the giggles that go with the high pitched yelping responses to said experience, we continued with the water-based experience in earnest.

This time Irini followed Sean around quite a bit and, being older, he was a good model for her to follow. A bit later TTmouz and Tía also arrived and joined in the fun too. (Thanks for the pictures, Tía!) Irini moved further and faster than she ever has and, within minutes, was able to swim the length of the pool. Only now she was using her hands as well! Laurence was delighted. Then, in an effort to impress even the most critical of critics, she began to show off her diving from the side (arms up straight, bend at the waist, bend knees, push off the side and smoothly enter the water to an impressive array of "aahhh" and "ohhh" from the family and friends). One thing led to another and, before we knew it Laurence was pushing Irini up out of the water and she, with a powerful push of her legs, would fly into the air, landing in the water. Then, a moment of silence as the brew of bubbles bubbled below and, suddenly, a happy smily face flying out of the water and into daddy's arms. Laughter. Giggles. Shouts to be seen. Repeat. Ahhs and ohhs.

Amalia, on the other hand, chose to do most of her activities on land. She loves getting herself wet but hasn't shown quite the initiative to jump off the side as Irini had by now. Amalia likes toys and games and, this time, the hoola hoop would do just fine. She played happily with it and swung it around to similar supportive cheers and statements from the adult crowd. On occasions she would venture into the kiddie pool to get herself wet (and cool) before getting out again and roaming around the pool area and beyond.

It was the kind of event that we didn't want to leave. The girls were both happy and daddy was so comfortable in the water so that when mommy said it was time for dinner, there was a sad look on his face. Amalia and Irini, however, were happy to follow Allie and Sean upstairs to share dinner. Great swim. Great dinner. Good friends. What else can we ask for?

CNY in Krabi

Every year for the past few we've been fortunately to have our friends Trina and Joe and their adorable daughter Sarah come to visit us in Malaysia. The same was a possibility this year as their Chinese New Year vacation is longer than ours (theirs is one week to our four days). But we thought' "why not give them a chance to go somewhere else as well and perhaps we can fly and meet them in a neutral spot?" And so that plan was set. They were going to fly from Dalian where they live to Bangkok for a night and then fly on to Krabi, Thailand. As it turns out Krabi is just a 1 hour 20 minute flight from KL, so we opted to go see them. To spice things up, we decided to go in convoy style with the Colombian entourage in tow. So Natalia, Laurence, Irini, Amalia, Tia, Avihurik and TTmouz all boarded the plane and headed out to Southern Thailand for four nights on the beach. Aahhhh! There is little that can beat a beach in Thailand, though it was perhaps more touristy than any place we've been to in a while. Still, the hotel stood right in front of a bay, overlooking the ocean, and karst outcroppings dotted the landscape. The hotel ran inward away from the beach and our rooms (pretty large and quite beautiful) sat at the back, in a quiet setting overlooking a pool. We arrived a day before Trina, Joe and Sarah and we quickly found out how lovely the place was. TTmouz, in particular, was overjoyed by the beach and, thankfully for us, Irini and Amalia followed him and Avi into the water time and time again. The next morning we sat at breakfast when Trina, Joe and Sarah pulled up in their boat (as we had the day before) and we rushed over to say hello.

The next few days were spent hanging out with them and catching up, and watching the kids play in the water, sometimes in the sea and sometimes in the pool. Breaks were filled with a nice snooze on a king sized bed. In the distance, the real world ticked on. In our little haven there was nothing but sun, talk and down time, just like we had hoped. Of course, being with Trina and Joe, sharing stories and plans and dreams - from new homes in the planning to professional aspirations, to family life - was a great opportunity to dip into our friendship further. We miss you guys!

The Colombian extended family added to the experience, of course. Trina mentioned how strange it was to see Tia in Thailand when they had last seen her in Colombia. The world is getting smaller it seems, for all of us.

Our departure found us returning to the news that Pappou (Walter) had fallen and broken his arm. There was a sudden thrust into the 'real world' as we contacted Aleko to make sure everything was okay. While we sat and slumbered on the beach, Aleko had flown to Geneva where the accident had happened, and helped Monica help Pappou with all the medical concerns. Jarred from our vacation mindset it was a bit of a shock, but happily everything had turned out well (or as well as could be hoped for). Monica's emotional state was back to (more) normal. Aleko was back in a routine work environment. Pappou was in his usual high spirits, even with a sling around his neck and stories of necessary physiotherapy. Normalcy has been (somewhat) restored for all of us. Life goes on.